why does my husband only want oral
Its not as simple; give and you shall recive. i wish it was. and why he doesn't recoginize our feelings or human urges I dont think there is much we can do about it. We pick the men we want in our lives and we have to live with our choices. I know most men will change when given an ultimatum, why does it have to get to that point though? I don't understand why men think it is okay to do this, or maybe its because they were not loved as children so find it hard to love in return. I do think it has something to do with this. I think i put it down to the man having a problem somewhere with love, affection or women. I have a problem with my husband wanting oral and flopping during sex. he spends his nights drinking while i go to sleep alone. i wake up with the 1 year old and im half way through my second pregnancy. I love sex no matter what time of the day or stage of pregnancy or even place. My husband never asks me for sex i have to ask him he usually just wants oral and i see him try to get out of sex. on average we have sex once every 2 weeks or so. I want to have sex every other day so its a huge strain on me even though it sounds stupid. Its how I am. When we first got together we had sex every other day, now its him saying we cant have sex every day because of the baby and there is no time. I dont care if the baby is screaming there are plenty of rooms in the house we can go to while baby has a 10 minute cry in his crib. He likes to make it hard and insist on having sex in the bed or waking me up in the middle of the night when im a zombie trying to get my 7 hours in. he will also tell me i need to come back to bed in the morning which is obviously impossible with a 1 year old who is going to scream and husband cant concentrate enough with screaming babies.
I have come to a point where its him reciveing oral and he wont even touch me. (he swears every night he comes to bed and fondles my breast) Yes it is nice but what is that going to do for me while im sleeping and unaware that anything is even happening. Yes men love oral but women shouldnt have to go without satisfaction as well. My family is just starting out and i am in my prime. im 20 years old my husband is 35 i have a perfect life and house with him a healthy baby with one on the way. But this huge dark cloud sits over me all day as i think about him and his selfishness to the point where i just start crying over anything. It isnt fair but do i give up everything for sexual satisfaction or keep masturbating by myself at night and forget what it is to have a man touch me and want me. I just want to be held and wanted. Who knows why he is like this. every time i bring it up i get an agressive reply which makes me wish i never even thought of bringing it up. although we have sex once every week or two its not anything loving its basically him climbing on top and rolling back off which always makes me feel a lot better about myself. i guess i just keep going on until i cannot go any more and in 10 years regret spending all this time in a lonely position. but hey men love oral so thats all that matters give them your youth and love. clean and cook and never expect anything back even after birthing their children. I never thought a human could feel so low over something that could so easily be fixed. I will just keep venting until it no longer helps me get over it. thanks for reading!
As I read these private accountings, I noticed something: the "sweet-and-innocent" and "Eww! " stories were at opposite ends of the bell curve.
The majority of respondents were in the middle, where the motivators for oral sex vary greatly. The act of oral sex is filled with issues. Intimacy and trust spring to mind instantly. but the less discussedвand perhaps most importantвissues loom like the proverbial elephant in the room: control and dominance. A large percentage of a man's ego is built on his virility, as well as a multitude of other sexually-charged items: penis size, number of women he's bedded, sexual prowess and "skill". the list goes on and on. And given the anemic economy, men who have lost their jobs are looking to improve their self-esteems, and rejuvenate their identities. I'm not suggesting that oral sex is a man's way of finding self-worth, but a when a man is in control, it can often counteract feelings of inadequacy, serving as a distraction to balance out any negative feelings. But is he truly in control when a woman is down on him? A disclaimer: As long as everyone one is agreeable and having fun, then it doesn't matter. Sex and all things to do with sex are great. What I'm alluding to is the motivation for the actвthe unspoken dynamics at play. silently, elusive control issues. While there are many reasons women perform/provide oral sex в love, connection, intimacy, wanting him to feel good в one thing was mentioned by over 80% of the respondents: She was in control, and he was her [apparent] cooperative, willing submissive. I LOVE going down on my fiancГ! It makes me feel very empowered to know that I am capable of giving him maximum pleasure!!! I love it.
I really do. It puts you in a powerful place for negotiating to get things done your way and I've yet to meet a man who would say no to it. My friend told me how she gives her husband oral sex when she wants something big. I tried it, and it works like a charm. The trick is to hold out for a while. like a couple of weeks. Then go for it, give him the best head of his life. How do you think I am able to go shopping, slack on the laundry, and take bubble baths in the evening? Even hinting at going down will have him saying, 'Yes honey; whatever you want,' for a week. at LEAST. In delving further with some of these respondents, we discovered that the truthвthe seduction for them, if you willвof why they like performing oral sex was the power they gained. the control. Which makes complete sense when you consider the act. Truth be told, regardless of the physical position в he's holding the woman's head/hair, standing over her with her on her knees, whatever в he is still submissive. There he is on his back, arms stretched out, eyes closed, completely at the woman's mercy. with the most sensitive part of his anatomy exposed and defenseless (not to mention that it's placed in an area where it could be severed from his body). This is a man in control? Of course not. This sexual act is the epitome of physical and emotional vulnerability. He is 100% devoid of control. Nothing wrong with trust and vulnerability. but this is not a "strong" or "dominant" act. What of the men who prefer oral sex to intercourse? I would venture that much of that is a fear of intimacy. but I can't help but wonder в could it be so many men put forth a false bravado, when in truth they are naturally submissive?
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